In his/her introduction, the writer should be incorporating what “they say” by situating his/her paper as a response to a preexisting conversation. He/she should also make it clear to whom his/her argument matters (“Who cares?”) and why (“So what?). Finally, the writer should provide a clear statement of his/her central claim and its supporting reasons.
- Are all these elements clear to you? If yes, state these elements. For example, what is the situation? What is the writer’s position? What is his/her central claim?
Yes. The elements are clear but the arguments are also ambiguous. To begin with, the writer opening statement questions what we think about when we see mothers? In reality many things come to mind with such a question, I think the opening statement should have been avoided. Nevertheless, the central thesis is the stigma that surrounds working or stay at home mothers. The writer argues that changing economies have brought about the need for women to work. Unlike the period 1990s, things in the 21st century have changed. Such that women are forced to work to fend for their families. At the same time, women chose to stay at home for various reasons. The authors claims are two sided arguing in support for both working and stay at home mothers. Being a working mother, the writer seems to argue for working mothers, then again it gets complicated as she also seems to advocate for stay at home mothers.
- If all the elements are not present, suggest some options for how the writer might go about satisfying these elements of the assignment.
The thesis should have taken one side argument. For example, while the central theme is on working mothers, versus stay at home mothers we see the writer arguing in favor of both. According to the writer both mothers face a stigma and thus call for support for both these mothers. However, it is common sense that these women face a myriad of challenges.
Again, since the writer has personal experiences of being a working mother I feel that the argument should have been in light of working mothers.
The writer should clearly state his/her reasons at the beginning of every section of support, then provide ample evidence to support those claims in the form of specific examples, details, observations, reasoning, etc.
- Does the writer provide enough evidence to convince you that his/her reasons are true? If yes, what evidence is presented to persuade you of the writer’s claims?
Yes. For the part of stay at home mums, the writer quotes statistics that infer that a significant share of women are stay at home mothers. The writer goes into detail to highlight the challenges that these mothers face and recommends that they should have a routine to help them manage their schedule and the kids.
- If not, describe what sort of evidence the writer would need to provide in order to convince you.
Not at all. First the writer should have highlighted the challenges that working mothers face trying to balance work, being wives and mothers. Instead, the writer argues that working mothers should be supported. It doesn’t make much sense advocating for support for issues that are unknown. Furthermore, the writer asserts that many are against working mothers. Who are these people? What evidence supports such claims? The writer should have provided credible statistics such as wage differences to support such claims.
At some point the writer should name an opponent, represent their argument fully and fairly, make concessions that show areas of agreement, and then respond with his/her own rebuttal.
- Are all these moves made clearly and effectively? If yes, what counterargument is presented and how is it refuted?
The writer doesn’t make any counter arguments. Instead the writer supports both her claims
- If not, suggest some options for how the writer might go about improving any or all of the moves by which they respond to an opponent.
Even though it is difficult to have a one sided support for this argument. I feel that the writer should have argued that working mothers need more support especially because she has an experience being a working mother. Moreover, corporate women do indeed have a significant share of challenge’s that cannot be compared to the stay at home mothers. Therefore, I feel the writes should have taken a stand on this debate.
For the concluding paragraph, the writer should reassert his/her central claim and summarize why his/her position is sound or perhaps even more reasonable than possible opponents. Ultimately, it should persuade readers to agree with the writer’s position.
- Does the writer provide a compelling conclusion to his/her? If yes, what makes the writer’s conclusion persuasive?
The writers central theme is that regardless of the position, both stay at home mothers and working mothers need support. Working mothers need support to have their kids raised in their abscess and stay at home mothers also need encouragement to handle chores plus the kids. None is better than the other, they are both doing jobs and ultimately need support.
- If not, what might the writer do to influence his/her audience?